blog: Letter to my unborn baby
I have been half hoping for and half dreading your arrival. Am I a
good mother? Will you love me? Will you feel happy to be brought
into this world like that? A thousand questions have flowed into my
mind, and i don’t have the answers.
To have you growing inside is a wonderful journey, but also it is a
great challenge to me. It is like somebody put a fragile life into my
hands, and i have to hold it with extreme care everywhere at every
moment. I want to take care of you so much that sometimes it would
engulf me in a sudden wave of unbearable fear.
Yesterday I went to the hospital for my first check. All I want is to
confirm that you are OK, that you are healthy and nothing went wrong.
But when I went into the overcrowded hospital, when i saw so many expecting mothers streamed into the rooms, somehow I knew my simple expectation might not be fulfilled easily. My doctor, a nice old lady, gave
me too minutes rough exam and told me:” Yes, you are pregnant. Be
careful in the first three month.” “I suffer from irregular heartbeat, does it effect….” My quick and eager enquiry was cut short immediately:” Ask a cardiologist for advice.” That’s it, that’s all i got. And the doctor went for
